Linus Torvalds, Superstar

Alan Cox
...Listen Linus to the warning I'll say,
Don't you see that I just want them to pay,
It's a hacker's OS,
Have you forgotten our low market share, oooh!

I am frightened by this mess,
For we are getting too much press,
And they'll crush us in the end-user desktop!

Helsinki, your famous son
Should have stayed a great unknown...

Eric Raymond
...Don't you know
You'll all get rich, yes
You'll all be rich,

And the code is really, really good
For every business in your neighborhood...

I don't know how to profit
I can't see what to charge for
It's all free
Seems strange to me...


Hey LT, LT, please explain to me...

...Linus you know I love you
Even though we'll never meet,
I believe in you and GNU
So tell me I'm 3l33t!
Rob Malda
Linus there must be over 50k
Script kiddies looking up to you
Every one of 50k
Will crack whatever you ask him to
Keep 'em yelling their devotion
But add a touch of hate for Bill...

Cathedral Prostitutes: TrollTech, Sun, Netscape...
Roll it out, with a price that's free
Open source has been good to me
Throw the community a bone
And keep a piece that we still own...
A bazaar should be a house of freedom!
But you have made it a den of open source!
Get out!  Get out!
Join us now and share the software, you'll be free... oh wait, wrong musical.

Dennis Ritchie
So you're Linus Torvalds
Yes, the great Linus Torvalds
Prove to me you know the facts
Port your OS to this old VAX...

I have nothing in my hands
Any code I have
Comes to me from scores of hackers
Everything is free, and you can't own it.
You're a fool, Linus Torvalds,
How can I help you?
MSCE Chorus
De-co-mo-do-tize it!
Remember Bill Gates,
You have a duty...

Alan Cox
...Every time I build a patch
I don't understand
How we let the code you wrote
Get so out of hand
You'd have managed better
With an OMT diagram...

...If you'd copied Windows
You'd have reached a whole nation!
Unix on a PC
Had no market penetration...

This content is copyright Doug DeJulio, and available under version 2 of the GPL. Send me patches and I'll consider them for incorporation into the main work.

There are some parts I'm not pleased with yet. For example, I don't know how to write the bit where Ballmer pays Cox 30 million silver microsoft stock options to betray Linus while he's on a beer hike in Gethsemene. I'm also wondering if someone else isn't more apropriate for that role -- perhaps Tanenbaum?

Doug DeJulio